Nuthouse

I have been an active user of the Nuthouse's services for months now and, wow... I cannot describe how satisfied I am with their service.

From the first step into the door, you are immediately faced with a strong aroma of a nutty scent that permeates your soul. The employees here are quite customer oriented and immediately present their "Good Vibes" products for you to purchase. Do not be alarmed by the lack of communication as it is corporate policy not to speak with outsiders. Once you have selected the desired "Vibe" product, you are escorted to a dimly lit room where they perform their services on you.

I have never felt so relaxed and liberated in my life. Thank you to the Nuthouse for your stupendous service.

I visited the NutHouse on a whim while purchasing groceries to support my small bakery. I had intended on making a delicious pecan pie and could not find pecans anywhere! I thought that I may find a wide variety of nuts in the NutHouse, hopefully including pecans. Instead, I found myself in a candle-lit massage room that was playing Careless Whisper on loop and serving milk with ice. The men gave me the most amazing massage, but it was strange because they did not speak a single word the entire time. They appeared to be communicating to one another only through moving their eyebrows. I explained that I was looking for some nuts, and one of the men silently coughed up a bunch of pecans. My customers loved the pecan pie that I made, and I will definitely be back for more nuts!

There are way too many nuts in this house, wow.

Went to the nuthouse because I heard it was packing some heat. My friend highly recommended the place because they have these weird plants growing out front. Anyhow, when I was there, all the employees were extremely friendly and without even asking me why I was there, the employees offered me some of the mysterious plant growing in the garden. I'm not one to refuse strange substances so I took it without hesitation.

I don't really know what happened afterwards but I have been suffering from serious constipation my entire life. I don't know how they figured that out but now my bowels are gone. Never occurred to me that I could solve my problems by giving it the tumor treatment. Definitely will be visiting again.

Came here a few weeks ago, had one of the best haircuts I've ever had in my life. They had hot towels, and shaved my neck while giving me a back massage. Somehow they cleaned my car without my keys and washed my dog too? I highly recommend this place to any weary travelers looking to rest their head on a hard cold rock.