Burger King

Bacon cheese whopper was a bit expensive but good. I was in the area and did not expect a great meal but I was hungry. 3 cars were in line and I was still through in a couple of minutes. Super fast! Order was correct. Good job!

As I unwrapped the BK impossible burger I receive a faint waft which curls the inner nostril hairs in both curiosity and disgust.  I immediately removed the six pickles and two tomato slices that are nestled under several layers of onion, lettuce and a various mixture of colorful creamy liquids serving as the “glue” that hold this beast together. Upon further inspection of the burger patty it is noticeable that the edges are raised around the outside perimeter leading me to believe the middle of the burger is the thinnest part of its anatomy. This strikes me as unusual since most burger patties have nice rounded edges with the center being the thickest part of the meat (“meat”). I place the large hunk of impossibleness onto my salivary glands and begin to massage it with my self-deprecation fueled by a masochistic subconscious. This brings a smile with waves of tears that cannot be described as happy nor sad but instead rather numb. With each bite I find myself unable to stop the process and I realize that something other than the questionable patty has taken hold of me. I believe this mysterious ingredient can only be described in the Chinese mandarin language as “MSG”. This chemical brings me further down my path of destruction and refuses let go. I take every bite more quickly than the previous. Once the feast has ended I look down on my stained hands and verbally question my decision with an audible “how is this possible?”. That is when I realized maybe this COULD be beneficial. Maybe my fear of fake meat CAN be conquered more easily. This thought is interrupted by an incredible roar from the depths of my belly and I’m launched back into my mental instability which caused this mess. Tomorrow morning I will once again have the same curiosity and disgust from the putrid stench that rots my insides. “How is this possible?” I will once again ask myself. This is a mess. What a mess. Impossible.